It was 3:45 p.m. and Jeff and I were doing our big grocery shop for the week. I assumed we had loads of time, but the announcement came over the loudspeaker that the store would be closing in 15 minutes. I don't shop quickly. I need two hours to grocery shop, especially when I'm meal planning as I walk the aisles. When the announcement came, we hurried to put everything we could into the 'trolley' and dashed for the checkout. We bagged our groceries and headed for the car. As we were waiting for the windows to de-fog my alarm went off reminding me of the carol service I had completely forgotten about. We called the kids and told them to get ready because we'd be leaving as soon as Jeff and I got home. We waited for record time at the bus stop (buses aren't as frequent on a Sunday night) and got to the service 15 minutes late. It was a capacity crowd and people were stuffed all the way to the doors in the narthex. We couldn't even see into the auditorium. I happened to know that this service was going to be a long one (though we kept that information from the kids) and Jeff and I looked at each other thinking we should just turn around and go back home. Right at that moment, an usheress (is that what you call a female usher?) spotted us in our dilemma and told us that she could seat us at the front on the floor if we'd like. She assured us there were "loads" of people doing the same thing. We both curled our lips at the thought of walking in front of hundreds of people and being seated in front (on the floor, no less) but after debating for a second, decided to go for it since we'd come this far.
What we didn't realize is that we would be sitting FRONT and CENTER on the floor. Yes, that's right.... we walked in 15 minutes late and got prime seating, just inches from the stage and even closer to the advent wreath with four burning candles. There were a few others on the floor as well, but they all seemed to be tucked neatly off to the sides of the stage. The older kids looked at Jeff and I like they were going to kill us the first chance they got. What they failed to understand is that at that moment we, too, felt like our teenage selves just wanting to drop through an escape door in the floor. I especially felt badly for the people we were directly in front of who had likely gotten to church early to get such a special seat. There was lots of sitting and standing repeated by more sitting and standing throughout Bible readings, prayers and songs. I think we all just wanted to not be so visible.
Although I was initially so distracted by embarrassment, as the service unfolded I began to feel God's peace landing on me like a blanket. The joy in the room was pulsing, God's presence- palpable. We were so close to the center of it all... the flickering candles, the orchestra, the voices and the joyful expressions on faces... that it was impossible not to sense the nearness of God, Emmanuel. He was right there with us, in our midst, dwelling among us. It began to seem as though this seat on the floor near the altar was not an inconvenience or an accident after-all. This service was exactly what our spirits needed. As Jeff and I were talking afterwards, he said, "it felt like we were late to the party, yet, still we were given the best seat."
Isn't that just like God... even though we are all 'late to the party,' or 'a day late and a dollar short' at times, he doesn't mind. He doesn't treat us differently or reprimand us. He doesn't turn us away at the door. He welcomes us in and bids us closer, closer until we can feel his heartbeat.
Loved it Jodie!!
ReplyDeleteWe went to a similar thing at St. Andrews last night. We really enjoyed it!
"Come just as you are to worship...." He wants us... late, ugly, needy - whatever we are - He just wants us.
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